Author Archives: Aralyn Hughes

Not the Most Popular

How do you look impressed, excited, and googly-eyed, when a friend or acquaintance, announces [yet another] grandchild? To sit mutely by has excluded me from gatherings; they are the losers for it, not me.

I never got “the mommy” gene, never wanted children, and told my mother at age 13. In 1976 I finally found a program through Planned Parenthood that allowed me to get sterilized via tubal ligation, at age 23. This was after so many doctors refused to consider a sterilization procedure, telling me “you need to have a couple of kids first”. Any medical history taken since then has included 0 births written down, still an anomaly.

Nowadays, when someone asks me how many grandchildren I have, I can quiet them with one sentence. “You can’t have grandchildren if you never had kids.” Why is that so appalling, I’ll never understand.

I’ve been proud to be a rebel, to follow what felt right to me, and stand up in the face of society. Child-free by choice should not be considered selfish, but honoring yourself!

 

 

Children: Very Expensive and Largely Ungrateful

By Terry Lee Hess My friend says that by not having children, I have not lived a full life. I cheated myself out of it. Period. There is no need to debate this. It is a given. And, in every conversation we have wherein she always mentions her daughters or grandchildren and the richness of… Continue Reading

It’s Not Just About You

By Melissa Myer As many of you know, I opted out of the parenthood track. The politically-correct word for this is “childfree”. I have mixed feelings about this word, but it’s more accurate than “childless”, which suggests that something in my life is missing, lost. Me? I prefer “childless-by-choice”, “unchilded” or “non-parent”, if I have… Continue Reading

Free at Last

By Grace McEvoy Nineteen sixty-one, the year of my birth, is considered by some to be the last year of the baby boom. That puts me in the generation that grew up with many cousins and siblings but in my case, not one niece or nephew. Socially, things changed quickly as I came of age… Continue Reading

Gambling with Life

By Carol A. Provence Bringing children into the world is a speculative venture.  It has all the elements of a gamble, something resembling Russian roulette in its potential for disaster.  Yes, seems we no longer worry as much about the hazards of dying in childbirth, medical advances have moved along there, but don’t kid yourself… Continue Reading