How do you look impressed, excited, and googly-eyed, when a friend or acquaintance, announces [yet another] grandchild? To sit mutely by has excluded me from gatherings; they are the losers for it, not me.

I never got “the mommy” gene, never wanted children, and told my mother at age 13. In 1976 I finally found a program through Planned Parenthood that allowed me to get sterilized via tubal ligation, at age 23. This was after so many doctors refused to consider a sterilization procedure, telling me “you need to have a couple of kids first”. Any medical history taken since then has included 0 births written down, still an anomaly.

Nowadays, when someone asks me how many grandchildren I have, I can quiet them with one sentence. “You can’t have grandchildren if you never had kids.” Why is that so appalling, I’ll never understand.

I’ve been proud to be a rebel, to follow what felt right to me, and stand up in the face of society. Child-free by choice should not be considered selfish, but honoring yourself!

 

 

Cover of the anthology Kid Me Not!

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